I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Bring me that man meat
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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