My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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