Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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