$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize