I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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