Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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