mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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