I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Found your dick twin last night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Randomize
