I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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