so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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