when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
