Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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