Don't make out with my wife yet
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
