I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
