So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
