yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
