sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
