i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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