I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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