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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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