now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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