So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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