I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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