they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
