he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
