think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
