I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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