I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize