i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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