is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
