Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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