I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
