it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No subtext here. People are naked.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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