Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
