Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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