so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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