I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
