I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
