Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize