the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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