just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
this will be a night to untag.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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