How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
