and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
That reminds me...we need to get swords
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
