No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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