Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
