meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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