Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
