Can i not drive my cunt home
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
