He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
