i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
