:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
