Umm I'm too high to move.
honey bunches of taint.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
