The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
