discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
