Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize