the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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