God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
