She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize